Uh, there went a month

Photo by Negative Space on Pexels.com

I don’t even know where I left off, but my month of Detox didn’t really work.  Not to say that I’m not going to keep trying.  I still want to lose the last 10 lbs. and I still want to cut back on spending.  I had a wonderful weekend with my friend Liz in Grand Teton National Park.  We also explored a tiny bit of Yellowstone, the town of Jackson, WY and Teton Village, which is a swanky ski lodge area.  I will need to check my weight when I get home, but I ran my long run and estimate that I haven’t lost or gained.  Which hey, is better than nothing.  

Before I left for the trip, I was trying to persuade my ex-husband to let Jackson go to the Dominican Republic trip that he was invited to compete in for soccer.  Jackson’s dad did not budge and Jackson admitted that if it was his money, he would not pay for the trip.  He also wants to play baseball so we decided to not spend the $10K to take him.  It would have been a fun December though.  I left Columbus a little sad that I had told Jackson no.  I like to provide all the opportunities I can for my kids.  

So, let’s check in with the goals:

Spending through 12/31/19: 

1) Can buy house hold items that need replaced or are non-existent now – I doubt I’ll do much of this while in school.  I did start taking down items in the family room. 

2) Can buy items to finish decorating the boys rooms – no purchase

3) At the beginning of each month, thoughtfully determine the 3 wardrobe items that make the most sense – get rid of what they replace if they replace items 

September items I want to buy:

1) Small items while traveling = trucker hat from KY & long sleeved T from Jackson

2)  I will add as I think about what I want… 

4) Determine a plan for Christmas – Troy is not ready for this discussion 🙂

5) Can buy items for the boys that they need, such as sports gear – nothing recently

Weight management for the month of September:

Goal weight = 140, current weight  153.4 (well, slightly the wrong way)

1) Drink alcohol only once a week (usually, Monday night climb and wine) – I’m going to give this goal another whirl in the 2nd half of September

3) Plan a meal strategy at the beginning of every week -luckily, Troy and I have gotten into a rhythm of salads and dinners… hopefully the soon-to-be colder weather doesn’t change our trend.  

4) Track calories using My Fitness Pal – I fell of the band wagon while traveling last weekend to KY and this weekend to WY.  I will pick this up going forward 

5) Weigh myself daily – re-commit (you’re going to notice this will be a trend)

6) Continue with the Garmin running plan, climbing for fun, and add to the fitness routine Ab workouts – I did add the Abs workout and I’ve graduated to the 1/2 marathon training because I was super successful in the 10K!  It’s interesting.  I always get more hungry and struggle to loose weight when training for a run.  I’m not sure how this will go. 

Even though I didn’t meet all my goals, I went in the right direction.  I’m going to do a trip report to post about the Grand Teton’s trip and then focus on the work ahead.  Until I check in next time!

What Is Your Legacy?

Father’s Day. At this point in my life, it is admittedly a little bittersweet. My children are mostly grown. I have two younger and very dear to me step-sons, but their top-notch biological father is very much in their lives. My own two “kids” are 22 and 18 and are rightfully moving on to their own lives. My father and grandfathers have all passed away. In fact, today marks the two-year anniversary of my father’s passing. For this Father’s Day, I’m going to focus on legacy. What is the legacy we’re leaving behind as it stands right now?

Stephen Covey made this concept very popular. One of the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, he called it “Begin with the End in Mind.” Covey’s concept doesn’t have to pertain to the finality of life, it could simply mean “think about what this project will look like at the end” or similar. But today I’m focused on the legacy we leave behind. I also want to be very clear that this has nothing to do with money or accomplishment. I know the word can get tied up in “legacy funds” or buildings with people’s names on them to commemorate their legacy. Rather, the legacy that I’m considering here is, “what mark are you leaving on those around you?”

As I remember my father today, I think of what his legacy is for me. While a few bullets would never do it justice, here’s what I’ve got:

  • My dad taught me about politics. I don’t mean the silly show that plays out 24-7 on the hyper-media loop and twitter-sphere. I mean real life working with people. I still need reminders from time-to-time, but Dad helped me understand the imperfections of the world around me.
  • He taught me about the merits of hard work. Dad finished his college degree while working as a janitor in an office building. After he got the degree, he got hired on at GTE (later became Verizon) and had a long successful career. As our major bread-winner, he worked to give my sister and me a nice home and a great start to life.
  • Dad also inspired me to fight my own demons. Dad helped me see that we’re often our own worst enemies and that the single best thing to do in life is to come up with a method that works for us. For that, I couldn’t thank him enough.

Unexpectedly, I was blessed with a rare quiet moment with my 22-year-old son this morning. He lives at home and commutes to college, but he also works almost full time and has his own set of friends so I don’t get to see him that much. I warned him that I was going to put him on the spot with a deep question. He inhaled as if to say, “Oh crap.” I then asked him what is my legacy for him? I also asked him to not sugar coat it; give me the bad with the good. As a people, we’re capable of being very direct, and that’s what I am looking for. However, things have been quite smooth for a while and we’re sitting in the same room, so I readily recognize that there will be a positive bias. But alas, I’ll take what he gives. Here’s what he offered up:

  • You are always available when I need help
  • You taught me determination
  • You taught me how to think for myself
  • You taught me how to find my own happiness

As my family woke up or stopped by home, I continued to ask the cringe-worthy questions. Here are the subsequent answers proffered. In all cases, I asked for the “yeah but” or the “what should I be working on?” Again, I recognize the unlikelihood that a younger person would be so bold. But it honestly is how I parent. Give it to me straight gov’na.

From my 18-year-old daughter:

  • Fantastic Dad
  • Funny; you consistently spread the joy
  • Wise; really good at framing life lessons
  • Supportive
  • You taught me the importance of finding my people

From my 12-year-old step-son:

  • Good guitar player
  • Understanding

From my 10-year-old step-son:

  • Good soccer player
  • Pretty great person

From my better half, wife, life coach and zen master:

  • You’re my favorite person to spend time with
  • You embody Continuous Improvement – as in, you’re always trying to get better. And I don’t mean that you’re trying to grapple for what’s next; I mean you’re always trying to be a better person, a better role model and help others get better too.
  • However, your attitude toward Continuous Improvement can make you come off as judgy. You do great with people who are striving to get better, but you can be impatient with people who feel stuck or trapped.

Obviously, I’m flattered. Given that I get to run around in my own head all day, I wouldn’t be so universally positive. I also think my wife was spot on. I need to work on my ability to be patient with people who aren’t ready to develop. But instead of focusing on that at the moment, I’m taking what I’m given because that’s what people offered up.

As I wrap up this post, I’ll ask you some of some of these same questions.

What is your legacy as it stands today? What would the people close to you say about you?

Or if you’re more inclined, please let me know what my blog says about me? What impressions has it made on you? And please, feel free to give me the goods, gov’na. I won’t get better unless I hear it straight.

I close with gratitude and a genuine wish for a Happy Father’s Day to all the Dads out there!